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Writing Samples
Band 5

here are several reasons why some people in the USA become homeless. No matter what ethnicity, age, race or gender, people can still live outside without having a shelter to live in. Some may become homeless due to experiencing a layoff, a house catching fire, bankruptcy and so on. Needless to say, homeless people are treated cruelly and inhumanely. To be more precise, some may tease, abuse, or even gang up on them in some cases.

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There are several reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 become homeless. No matter what ethnicity, age, race or gender,
people
Use synonyms
 can still live outside without having a shelter to live in. Some may become homeless
due to
Linking Words
 experiencing a layoff, a house catching fire, bankruptcy and so on. Needless to say, homeless
people
Use synonyms
 are treated cruelly and inhumanely. To be more precise, some may tease, abuse, or even gang up on them in some cases. •To start with, there exist some reasons why some individuals in the
USA
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 experience
homelessness
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.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics, neither poverty nor economic status
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the biggest indicators of
homelessness
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. It turns out to be that race is the major contributor
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
homelessness
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 in the
USA
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. In 2022, it was calculated that 582.000
people
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 experienced
homelessness
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, which is 18 % of the
population
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 of
this
Linking Words
 country. BIPOC, which is Black, Indigenous and
People
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 of Color, are the main classes of individuals who are homeless. African Americans comprise 13% of the general
population
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, yet account for 26% of the
overall
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population
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 living in poverty, and even more apparent, they account for 40% of the homeless
population
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. These disparities are the results of centuries of discrimination through racist housing policies, which became part of official policies created by
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 government in 1933 in order to increase and segregate the amount of available housing. •
Secondly
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, both society and the homeless can be affected negatively.
Homelessness
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 can cost governments millions of dollars of
people
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’s tax
pay
Replace the word
payers
show examples
. Since
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
 are unable or reluctant to be employed, they need to
Add a missing verb
be supported
show examples
supported
Change the form of the verb
support
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 financially by governmental help.
According to
Linking Words
 a 2017 study, in California, a homeless person receives an average of $ 38,146 worth of public services.
However
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, those who do not have a roof over them to live
also
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 suffer from some factors. Health is the primary issue that most homeless encounter. Since they live outside without any conveniences, it is highly likely for them to catch
cold
Change the article
a cold
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, be infected and have some terminal illnesses in some cases.
In addition
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, because of lacking attention from wives, doctors,
parents
Correct word choice
and parents
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, they can from time to time worsen their health condition since there can be no one to look after them.
Moreover
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, they are less likely to be able to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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, meaning they
also
Linking Words
 suffer psychologically. They may have cognitive wrecks or disorders. • In my opinion, the reasons why some
people
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 in the
USA
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 become homeless
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become clearer. From Kurutz’s passage, Sonya Panye lived homeless for many years after a string of bad luck,
such
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 as being laid off,
his
Correct word choice
and his
show examples
 house caught fair, all of which made him psychologically and morally weak
as
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
result. He was treated in a cruel way, even
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 schoolchildren, who were ganging up on him if he responded to him. •
To conclude
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, statistically speaking, most dark-skinned, indigenous
people
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 suffer from
homelessness
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 even though their number is fewer
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to other ethnicities and races. Racist housing policies do not enable
people
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 of various
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 to be able to have the same rights as fair-skinned ones. Apart from that,
homelessness
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 can bring drawbacks both to
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 and unhoused
people
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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