Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, clutter
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
an integral part of our modern society,
, another part of the community would like to force the government to raise the tax on them.
, I believe that every individual has an opportunity
of consuming
Change preposition
to consume
show examples
whatever he or she wants. In
, essay I am going to tell you why the government should or should not surge the prices of fast
and what will happen if they will increase it.
To begin
with, expanding the tax on unhealthy meals will not stop the community from eating
Correct pronoun usage
show examples
is because the majority of people are addicted to
specific type of bread or they are not able to cook a dish on a daily basis. Another crucial reason why they should not increase the cost of clutter foodstuff is that the public will go against the ministry so it will not lead to anything positive.
, if the crowd
will put
Wrong verb form
show examples
huge pressure on the ministries, the government may do these taxes even less
Correct word choice
show examples
in the beginning. Having said that, politicians might try to diminish the consumption of junk cooking by decreasing the tax on healthy
as an alternative to junk
For instance
, if people would like to order
and they would see high prices for grilled meals and comparatively low prices for various types of salads they may order these salads.
To conclude
, I would like to say that increasing the costs of unhealthy dishes would not lead to anything better than a massive strike from society's side.
there are definitely more safe ways of showing citizens that junk snacks are unacceptable.
Submitted by gafarbeylialibey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It also lacks a logical structure, making it difficult to follow the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay touches on some points related to the topic, but it does not fully address the task. It needs to express a clear opinion and provide more relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy food
  • junk food
  • calorie-dense
  • taxing
  • incentivize
  • manufacturers
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disproportionately
  • low-income households
  • healthcare costs
  • obesity
  • diet-related diseases
  • punitive measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • government intervention
  • food industry
  • economic impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: