Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #tax #food

Nowadays, clutter

food

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

an integral part of our modern society,

however

, another part of the community would like to force the government to raise the tax on them.

However

, I believe that every individual has an opportunity

of consuming

Change preposition

to consume

show examples

whatever he or she wants. In

this

, essay I am going to tell you why the government should or should not surge the prices of fast

food

and what will happen if they will increase it.

To begin

with, expanding the tax on unhealthy meals will not stop the community from eating

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

This

is because the majority of people are addicted to

this

specific type of bread or they are not able to cook a dish on a daily basis. Another crucial reason why they should not increase the cost of clutter foodstuff is that the public will go against the ministry so it will not lead to anything positive.

Moreover

, if the crowd

will put

Wrong verb form

puts

show examples

huge pressure on the ministries, the government may do these taxes even less

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

in the beginning. Having said that, politicians might try to diminish the consumption of junk cooking by decreasing the tax on healthy

food

as an alternative to junk

food

For instance

, if people would like to order

food

and they would see high prices for grilled meals and comparatively low prices for various types of salads they may order these salads.

To conclude

, I would like to say that increasing the costs of unhealthy dishes would not lead to anything better than a massive strike from society's side.

Although

there are definitely more safe ways of showing citizens that junk snacks are unacceptable.

Submitted by gafarbeylialibey on Tue Apr 18 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It also lacks a logical structure, making it difficult to follow the argument.

Task Achievement

The essay touches on some points related to the topic, but it does not fully address the task. It needs to express a clear opinion and provide more relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy food
junk food
calorie-dense
taxing
incentivize
manufacturers
prohibitively expensive
disproportionately
low-income households
healthcare costs
obesity
diet-related diseases
punitive measures
lifestyle choices
government intervention
food industry
economic impact

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Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by other of the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Instead of requiring primary school students to do experiments themselves, schools should only alllow them to watch experiments demonstrated by teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?