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Band 4

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood

#one’s #career #passion #livelihood
When a
person
 is going to choose his
carser
Correct your spelling
career
, is are of the most important
desitions
Correct your spelling
decisions
show examples
 in his life, so it should be well
thinked
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
.
This
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 is
also
 important because it will define the rest of your
liffe
Correct your spelling
life
. Taking into consideration that the
person
 thought the
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 in a good way, there should be
a important things
Correct the article-noun agreement
an important thing
important things
show examples
.
first,
the
person
´s passions and his way to earn a livelihood. Starting from
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 passion,
this
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 needs to have your passions
becaus
Correct your spelling
because
 it is something that he will do every day of his life, so it has to be something that the
person
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
.
Also
, the
person
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be good at it, because if he is not good, might have many problems looking for a job and even have problems at the university with some tasks or
classess
Correct your spelling
classes
.  Talking about livelihood your
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 needs to be based on your future lie
also
 because
Add the comma(s)
,at
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end, it is
crussial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to
hava
Correct your spelling
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in the present and in the future, and if you want to have it you need to think about many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 like the earnings, your, lifestyle, the lifestyle that you want in the future, but in a short, middle and long term. I firmly
bdicke
Correct your spelling
bike
 that the
Correct your spelling
digestion
destion
Correct your spelling
decision
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 a I firmly believe that the
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 of choosing a career need to have a balance between your passion
ander
Correct your spelling
and
 your livelihood goals, and it will depend on each
person
. So,
to conclude
, you need to meditate
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 taking into consideration all of the things that I mentioned before. But
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 you a not happy with your
desition
Correct your spelling
decision
show examples
 you can change your career.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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