These days, mobile phone and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
today
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today's

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word
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world

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,
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internet
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the internet

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and
phones
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has
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have

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been
a
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apply

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controversial issue for
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people’s
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people

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. In
this
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essay
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,essay

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i
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I

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will try to show the pros and cons of the given issue. On the positive side , recent research
have
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has

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shown that social
media’s
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media

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is played
critical
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a critical

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role in
works
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working

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,
make
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making

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a friend,
find
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finding

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a
job
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, etc . Youth
people
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make a friend with
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their phone

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phone
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phones

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and it is very good if they control
it
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them

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, sometimes being
abuse
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abused

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by thieves. On the
oder
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other

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hand
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,hand

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people
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can
informed
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inform
be informed

The verb informed after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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break the news and news from All
of
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over

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the
word
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words

The singular countable noun word follows the quantifier All of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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.
Actually
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,Actually

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Millions of
people
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can find a
job
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from
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on

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the internet
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Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet

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internet
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Internet
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with websites or applications, rather than
unemployed
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be unemployed

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for months. On the
oder
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other

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side , some
people
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can make a
job
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with open
an
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a

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page
in
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on

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instagram
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Instagram

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. To be honest investment markets
is
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are

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very well for benefit , I think if we did not have
phones
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and
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the internet
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Use synonyms
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the internet

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internet
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Internet
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we will not progress.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
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,example

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in my
country
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,country

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we have
a
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apply

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people
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or groups
success
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succeed

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in their
job
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with start an online shop .
In
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On

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the negative side , thanks to covid_19 virus word
change
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changes

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from all directions .
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
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the internet

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and
phones
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
bad
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a bad

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result
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results

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for children
,
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apply

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because
the
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they

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do not have
any
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apply

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enough knowledge
how
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of how

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using
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to use

Using doesn’t seem to work here.

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phones
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with out
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without

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getting hurt .
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if children
using
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use

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Add an article
the phone
a phone
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Add an article
the phone
a phone

The noun phrase phone seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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phone
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phones
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for 6
hour
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hours

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her
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their

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eyes will be weak . In conclusion from my perspective , the benefit of using
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a phone
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Correct article usage
a phone

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phone
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phones
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and
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Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet

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internet
Correct your spelling
Internet

The word internet doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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certainly outweigh the drawback. So Im advantage
any
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of any

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m

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous
  • digital communication
  • geographical barriers
  • social networking
  • face-to-face interactions
  • overdependence
  • privacy concerns
  • cyberbullying
  • online communities
  • unparalleled access
What to do next:
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