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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.
#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country
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The given pie chart presents the proportion of employees that spent their
time
Use synonyms
 on various activities in 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there were six activities that
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 person had done.
In addition
Linking Words
, employees spent their most of
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, working adults who spent their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working occupied the majority of the data at 33% in 1958,
then
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 percentage increased to 42% in 2008. In the same figure as working, the percentage of employees who relax at home increased, from 8% to 13%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there were more people who prefer travel to work and other interests or playing sports, and the proportion of these two groups of people increased to the same at 6% in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were two activities that had decreased in number. The proportion of people who prefer going out with their friends or family dramatically decreased from 19% in 1958 to 6% in 2008.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the percentage of many working adults that spent their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sleeping was lower, 32% at
first,
Linking Words
and decreased to 25% in 2008.
Submitted by ksonaset on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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