Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports, such as sky diving and rock climbing.Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people are more interested in dangerous
sports
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of thought that should the government need to
ban
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
or not.
However
, in every
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
have
danger
side in itself so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if we set the rules well enough to protect the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
dangerous
sports
it is much better than
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
away. In my opinion, I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
show examples
to
ban
any risky
sports
and I will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
point of view below.
To begin
with, there are various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sports
thatare
Correct your spelling
that are
dangerous so if the government create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rules to support
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
sports
well will be able to protect the dangerous and risky
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
.
Sports
itself has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
side in most of them so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
proper rules or regulations that will make
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
sports
become
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
to play or able
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protect the person who played
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
This
will be a better
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
than just
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
.
For instance
, American football
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the rule that player need to wear helmet or
body guard
Correct your spelling
bodyguard
show examples
to protect themselves from
teckel
Correct your spelling
tackle
in the game.
Furthermore
, it is better to make
dangerous
Correct pronoun usage
it dangerous
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
are limited persons to play it. Some of the dangerous
sports
are very
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
to let any
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
able to play
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if we could set the age limit or consent form to play the
sports
might able to
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
certain
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
from playing that
sports
.
For example
, sky
driving
Correct your spelling
diving
show examples
,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we set a strong regulation that one who
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to play
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to age over 21 and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to sign a consent form before playing the
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. It might be the way
reduce
Fix the infinitive
to reduce
show examples
a person
to play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
it and might able to
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
danger
from it because people who want to play
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
neded
Correct your spelling
needed
need
to know that
themself
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are
readdy
Correct your spelling
ready
for the sport. In conclusion, in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
people have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in
such
dangerous
sports
even very young kids that have
saw
Change the verb form
seen
sawed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
movies.
However
, if the government organise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
well enough
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
the reasons above the
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
able to be decreased in the future.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: