The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009
The given bar graph illustrates the spending of
American
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Americans
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,
Canadian
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Canadians
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, English, and Japanese
on
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in
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five main categories, which is reported in 2009.
In
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At
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance, it is noticeable that the citizens in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries had a tendency to spend
on
Correct quantifier usage
more on
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accommodation
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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,
whereas
the
expenditure
on health care was
on the contrary
,
instead
of the United States, where clothing was the least.
In addition
,
while
the
expenditure
of
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on
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food, housing,
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
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was recorded with a high rate, that of health care and clothing were lower among
five
Correct article usage
the five
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given classifications.
Firstly
, in the high-spending group, the figure for housing was about 23% on average, being the category most expended,
while
that for food and transportation was approximately 17% and 15%, respectively.
Furthermore
, United States,
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
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, and United Kingdom citizens spent most on housing;
by contrast
, Japan prioritized spending on culinary
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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hit the point of 23%, outwarding other nations.
Additionally
, the US, Canada, the UK, and Japan had similar
expenditure
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expenditures
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on clothing, which was 5% on average.
However
, there was a notable difference in
expenditure
Add an article
the expenditure
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of
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on
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health care, which the figure for the United States was about 6%, doubled that for Canada and Japan,
while
tripled that for the United Kingdom.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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