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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year of 2009
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
The given bar graph illustrates the spending of
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
show examples
,
Canadian
Fix the agreement mistake
Canadians
show examples
, English, and Japanese
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 five main categories, which is reported in 2009.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, it is noticeable that the citizens in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries had a tendency to spend
on
Correct quantifier usage
more on
show examples
 accommodation
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
,
whereas
 the
expenditure
 on health care was
on the contrary
,
instead
 of the United States, where clothing was the least.
In addition
,
while
 the
expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, housing,
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
show examples
 was recorded with a high rate, that of health care and clothing were lower among
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 given classifications.
Firstly
, in the high-spending group, the figure for housing was about 23% on average, being the category most expended,
while
 that for food and transportation was approximately 17% and 15%, respectively.
Furthermore
, United States,
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
, and United Kingdom citizens spent most on housing;
by contrast
, Japan prioritized spending on culinary
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 hit the point of 23%, outwarding other nations.
Additionally
, the US, Canada, the UK, and Japan had similar
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 on clothing, which was 5% on average.
However
, there was a notable difference in
expenditure
Add an article
the expenditure
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 health care, which the figure for the United States was about 6%, doubled that for Canada and Japan,
while
 tripled that for the United Kingdom.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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