some children spend ours everyday on their smartphones whiy is this the case; Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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These days the majority of adolescents are given
smartphones
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by their parents, even some kindergartens have them. I believe that there are drawbacks and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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to using
smartphones
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. I will present both perspectives and write down the conclusion
at the end
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of
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, several professors agree that these young generations hold some kind of device like
smartphones
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, tablets and laptops.
This
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is large because they can embrace those stuff
so
Rephrase
more
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easily than any adults. By taking these devices without obstacles they can learn and comprehend something that they want to study
such
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as science, math and language. They can access any information they have intrigue in daily life on the internet,
such
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as a Chat.
For example
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, my younger sister is from the young generation and is significantly
skillful
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skilful
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at using a smartphone. When she has s question regardless of school and home, just search for it directly.
Moreover
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, she can concentrate on studying ever than before because she can look up knowledge she wants to know by herself without the teacher’s compelling academics.
This
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process will shape a child’s initiative and lead her to acquire a self-learning way by tackling electric devices.
As a result
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, we don’t need to make any resistance to
children
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who hope to take a smartphone.
On the other hand
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, others totally disagree with it because there are certainly disadvantages when they hold electric devices. They argue that
smartphone
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smartphones
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affects
Verb problem
have
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an intensive effect on
children
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and
this
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level, receiving negative effects, is the same as eating drugs by losing their concentration ability.
For instance
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, an article about the relationship range between
children
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and
smartphones
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shows that when kids spend time watching short-form contacts their brains get wreck toward losing concentration.
Consequently
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, they have a strong hindrance to stopping their
using
Wrong verb form
use of
show examples
smartphones
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. In conclusion, both aspects have positive and negative factors about
children
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with
smartphones
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and I think If they can adjust it by themselves, those would show a good influence.
Submitted by daye9114 on

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task response
Your essay provides a basic response to the question, but it lacks depth and analysis. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the question and provide a more detailed and comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved. Try to provide a clearer and more engaging introduction that sets up the essay's structure and purpose, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a final perspective on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Social media influence
  • Peer pressure
  • Educational apps
  • Connectivity
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cybersafety
  • Screen time
  • Parental controls
  • Content consumption
  • Cognitive development
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Age-appropriate content
  • Social skills
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