The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below compares the Australian participants who participate in physical activity

Change preposition

apply

show examples

according to

Linking Words

six

age

Use synonyms

categories in the year 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, it was apparent that women who have

Use synonyms

age

Correct article usage

an age

show examples

more than 25 tended to prefer doing physical

activitiy

Correct your spelling

activity

activities

rather than men. Reversely,

however

Linking Words

, the opposite was true for men under 24.

In the

Change preposition

The

show examples

youngest male(15 to 24) presented

the

Correct article usage

show examples

huge amount of ratio, which was 52.8%.

However

Linking Words

, the

male's

Change noun form

male

show examples

tendency experienced a decrease between

Use synonyms

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

25 to 34 and 35 to 44, which was 42.2% and 39.5% respectively. After reduction, the data showed a slight

increasing

Replace the word

increase

show examples

from

moddle-aged

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

module-aged

adults to old-aged adults male.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, 47.7% of young

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

around 15-24 were involved in

exercise

Add an article

the exercise

an exercise

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

it increased gradually to reach the peak between

Correct article usage

the 45

show examples

to 54

age

Use synonyms

group. It remained stable during the next group and reached a low of 47.1% at 65 and over.

Jeyul

Apr 20, 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Regular exercise
Age demographics
Participation rate
Trend analysis
Gender disparity
Health initiatives
Public health policies
Statistical comparison
Lifestyle choices
Work commitments
Age-related factors
Preventative health
Exercise habits
Surveillance data
Motivators and barriers

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?