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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph clearly illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the population aged 65 years and above in the USA, Sweden, and Japan from 1940 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the rates of old
people
Use synonyms
 in all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 showed a slow increment from 1940 to 2030.
However
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in the
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 will experience a rapid surge to more than 20% after 2030. In America, there was almost 10% of elders
proportion
Use synonyms
 in 1940 which is the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 among the
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it grew steadily until 1980. During 1980-2020 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of old
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA remained steady.
However
Linking Words
, it will increase sharply after 2030. The United States is expected to have the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the elderly population among the
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
. In 1940 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of old
people
Use synonyms
 in Japan was 5%, but it steadily declined until 1960
then
Linking Words
 it remained evenly over two decades. After
mid-1980
Correct article usage
the mid-1980
show examples
 Japan’s
proportion
Use synonyms
 of elders grew to nearly 10 %. the rate of old
people
Use synonyms
 in Japan is expected to be extremely rapid surge and will take the highest rates. .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, people, three, countries, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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