with the pressures on today's young people to Succeed academically. Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school eg. physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that chicken can concentrate wholly on acadesoic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressures #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #chicken #acadesoic

Undoubtedly, one cannot negate the fact that the topic of

non-academnife

Correct your spelling

non-academic

subjects

should be erased from schools

due to

this

children

can be focused more

Change preposition

show examples

other academic

subjects

has been at the forefront and widely debated

due to

its ubiquitous impacts. After careful

analysts

Correct your spelling

analysis

show examples

, I opine that physical education and cookery both

subjects

play an important role in

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

as both

subjects

can be taught as

recreational

Add an article

a recreational

show examples

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

in school so I do not agree with

this

view. → When it comes to contemplation about it, the flist point.

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the Zenith of my thinking pyramid is that in school

children

have a lot of things to learn & depending upon the country they live in, they may have to learn. up to 3 languages,

for instance

. In India, it is

mendatory

Correct your spelling

mandatory

for

children

to learn Hindi, English and their

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

tongue.

Then

, they have other

acole

Correct your spelling

Nicole

cole

Subjects

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

geography and all

sublects

Correct your spelling

subjects

are very tedious

therefore

Add the comma(s)

,therefore

show examples

, sports and other non, academic

subjects

help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

to stay active and refresh their minds. It can be lucidly observed that recreational activities can help

children

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

increase their imagination power and develop their motor skills.

Furthermore

, it is important for

chicken

Add an article

the chicken

a chicken

show examples

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

Correct your spelling

show examples

their main

subjects

because

this

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

will lead to their

career

path and fulfil their future need, what they really

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

. To some extent, Sports and Cookery will

also

help to build

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

, if students want

for example

, Sachin Tendulkar, who is an Indian successful cricketer,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has only completed their schooling but still he has Successful

batsmen

Fix the agreement mistake

batsman

show examples

In addition

, Sanjiv

kapoor

Change the capitalization

Kapoor

show examples

, who is. an Indian celebrity chef, who has achieved success. In the field of cooking.

To conclude

. It is important for students to

lean

Correct your spelling

learn

show examples

both academic and non-academic

subjects

because

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

subjects

also

lead to

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Submitted by patelkrishna331 on Thu Apr 20 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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with the pressures on today's young people to Succeed academically. Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school eg. physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that chicken can concentrate wholly on acadesoic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for 2 developments? In your opinion, which is better.