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Band 5.5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to living in a big apartment building. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #apartments #apartment
In today’s populated world where a place for living can be one of the vital issues in each society, for some is more favourable to live in large apartments
although
 some others believe living in towers can be depressing. I tend to advocate the former
however
 the latter has
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to somehow.
While
 for some people is difficult to live in a tall building as they think it can be demanding to do chores in
such
 a huge and high-rise accommodation, particularly when they live on their own or
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 households live together.
Moreover
, for a quiet family is annoying to live in an apartment with many flats and units where some neighbours are noisy.
This
 situation can make quite an inconvenient place for alone inhabitants. Some are keen on
to live
Change the verb form
living
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 in a large apartment. They can have a
feel
Replace the word
feeling
show examples
 of pleasure when they find it spacious enough to have
party
Add an article
a party
show examples
 or gathering with their members of family and friends.
Moreover
, a skyscraper can give you a stunning overlook
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the city
that is
 very amusing at night.
In addition
, having more rooms allows you to make fun for households or guests;
for example
, installing a huge LCD in one of
rooms
Add an article
the rooms
show examples
 creates a small cinema at home or putting a ping-pong table makes an entertaining room for the members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
. In conclusion, despite the small drawback
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living in high multi-storey apartments makes it sometimes frustrating for the members, there are many benefits with it
such
 as having a pleasurable time with households and friends;
therefore
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entertaining
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it can be a good substitution
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fun places outside of
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 so spending more time in high quality at a large house can improve family’s ties.
Submitted by nooshinhabibinejad on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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