IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to living in a big apartment building. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #apartments #apartment
There is no doubt that over the years we have witnessed a steep rise in sales of high-rise apartments in the cities.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 few
people
 argue that these flats are not suitable for a happy life, and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 individuals feel isolated, some believe that residing in these units
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own benefits. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views, and explain with examples why I agree with the latter argument of
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
lavish-living
Correct your spelling
lavish living
show examples
 in condos. One of the primary drawbacks of staying in apartments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the feeling of
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 and isolation.
This
 is mainly because the structure of the building
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
such
 that there are just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 houses on each floor.
This
 means very less
people
 residing close to each other,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can interact and build a healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
For example
, a survey
demonstarted
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that more than 67%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 only know their neighbours living on the same floor, because of
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
. Over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time,
this
 may result in
diminished
Add an article
a diminished
the diminished
show examples
 feeling of community feeling.
On the other hand
, the lifestyle of owners of these big condos is very comfortable. The basic amenities
such
 as swimming pools, club-house,
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
, etc. are available within the society premises, and
people
 take full advantage of these facilities.
For example
, if a person had to travel 30 minutes to go out for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise in
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
, he may bail out.
However
, if the
work-out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
 studio was just outside his building, the probability of him going there is much higher.
Further
, I strongly believe that a happy life depends more on the love and warmth among the family members, and not on the type of house they live in. If there are
frictions
Fix the agreement mistake
friction
show examples
 in the family,
people
 would feel unhappy anywhere they live. In conclusion,
while
 owners of the apartment may feel lonely
due to
 less interaction with neighbours, in my opinion, the benefits of living in these sky-touching buildings are far more,
such
 as
Correct article usage
the availibility
show examples
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
 of luxurious facilities and a higher standard of living.
Submitted by apoorva.badola on

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