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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. ​Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. ​Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates how much proportion of men and women
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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working as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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faculty in different educational schools in the UK in 2010. Teaching staff involved in six
catgeories
Correct your spelling
categories
 of educational groups are given,which comprise the following: preschool, primary school,secondary school,college,private training institute and
university
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that more number female teachers are involved in lower grades,
whereas
Linking Words
high
Change the article
a high
the high
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 number of
Add an article
the male
a male
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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 are teaching in colleges and
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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.
Although
Linking Words
 both are working
in
Change preposition
apply
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all over the educational institutions, women working in
Add an article
the nursery
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nursery
Fix the agreement mistake
nurseries
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 had the greatest amount, which accounted
just
Change preposition
for just
show examples
 below 100%. The primary school had 90% of female staff which is the second largest of the total female faculties.
However
Linking Words
,
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount of women staff working in
unveristy
Correct your spelling
university
 and accounted for 30%. Looking at the chart, it can be seen that more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
male faculty are teaching in
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 standing at 70% followed by private
insitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
. Whilst, less than 10 % of men are tutoring in lower grades.
In private
Change preposition
Private
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 training institutions and
Use synonyms
Add an article
the university
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 had the
second largest
Add a hyphen
second-largest
show examples
 teaching faculties of men standing at

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Vocabulary: Replace the words university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • Distribution
  • Gender disparities
  • Educational settings
  • Predominance
  • Representation
  • Societal biases
  • Systemic biases
  • Recruitment
  • Accessibility
  • Work-life balance
  • Societal expectations
  • Perceived suitability
  • Efforts to balance
  • Gender equality
  • Policymakers
  • Educational leaders
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