Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

It is a common belief that everyone should have the responsibility to create his or her own feelings of happiness
while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
believe that it is objective factors that affect our definition of being happy.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and give my opinion On the one hand, it is obvious that individuals can only be satisfied with life if they have what they have been longing for, which
vary
Correct subject-verb agreement
varies
show examples
among different groups of
people
.
For instance
, regarding the students, their sources of enjoyment may be getting a decent academic performance at school or being fed
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
foods;
whereas
, the older generation will be satisfied with their earnings and other targets when they pursue their own careers.
Moreover
, the state of being happy will partly result from
people
's attitudes towards life.
For example
,
while
some
people
believe that having a huge sum of money is the most satisfying feeling in today's life, others believe that a happy family will be.
On the other hand
, it is
also
undeniable that there are numerous
critearia
Correct your spelling
criteria
that define a person's happiness.
Firstly
, the environment at
Correct article usage
the workplaces
show examples
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
may be one of the most important
quality
Change to a plural noun
qualities
show examples
that may affect
people
's feelings.
For example
, friendly colleagues and an easy-going boss may enhance the workers' moods at some particular companies. Or considering
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
environment, having inspirational and
devoting
Replace the word
devoted
show examples
teachers will motivate the young a lot and help them to perform better.
Moreover
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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