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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

While mobile phones have many advantages, a number of problems have also resulted from them or the way in which they are used. What are some of these problems? What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems?

#phones
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Even though
,
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 mobile
phones
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 have many benefits, there are some resulting problems because of using
phones
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 that cannot be ignored. In
this
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 essay, I will outline some of the reasons that have contributed to these problems
as well as
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 some solutions. On the one hand, a serious illness because of using
phones
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 is poor sight. Our
phones
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 are our true friends in today's world, and we utilize them most of the
time
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.
This
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 way of using
phones
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 weakens our eyes' muscles and causes poor sight.
Moreover
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, mobile
phones
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 waste our
time
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. Most
people
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use
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phones
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 for over 5 hours a day. The usage of our
phones
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 is not for calling and texting as before, but we
use
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phones
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 for watching movies, surfing the internet and keeping in touch with our family and friends. If we do not manage the
time
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 that we
use
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 the phone,
this
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 object can waste our whole
time
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.
On the other hand
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, governments must teach
people
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 how they can
use
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phones
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 properly. It can hold workshops for adults and teach at schools for younger
people
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. When
people
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 know how they can
use
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 their
phones
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 for attaining their goals, they manage their usage
time
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 of the
phones
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.
In addition
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, governments should pass strict rules for socializing with
people
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 who are below the age of 18 on social media. Most users of
phones
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 are in their twenties and they can be great bait for exploitation. A serious issue that worries parents is to abuse of their children in cyberspace and because of
this
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 reason they control their children strictly, but it is not enough. We
also
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 need to control the other side of the conversation to protect the future generation from misusing.
This
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 control conserves young
people
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 from the potential dangers of cyberspace. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that mobile
phones
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 have many advantages, their drawbacks can not be overlooked. Poor sight and wasting
time
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 are serious problems with
phones
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, and government must educate
people
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 on how they can
use
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phones
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 appropriately and whom they can speak to.
Submitted by Maryamrajaeenia77 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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