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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below summarise the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia´s share of Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below summarise the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia´s share of Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
In both graphs, we may appreciate the number of Japanese tourists
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 outside the country and the number of
japanize
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 tourists visiting
Australia
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 between 1985 to 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graphs indicate an increasing tendency, inferring that
Australia
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 became a popular vacation destination for
japanize
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 citizens from 1985 to 1995. A closer look at the number of Japanese population who spent their holidays outside their country increased from 4.000.000 people in 1985 to 16.000.000 in 1995.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
´s
japanize
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 tourism shows a strong incidence as well, starting at only 2% of Japanese tourists in 1985 to 6% in 1995.
However
Linking Words
, even though there is a significant peak in 1994 in
japanize
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 tourism in
Australia
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 achieving more than 6%, we may infer that
japanize
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 citizens did not choose
Australia
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 as a destination for their trip in 1995 as
this
Linking Words
 tendency drop back to 6%. As well, Japan´s population
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 outside the country increased from 1994 to 1995 increasing to almost 16.000.000 people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japanize, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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