Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#museum #art #galleries #work #show #history #culture #country #part #world

The only

places

where we can get to know about the lives of our ancestors are

Museums

and other Art Galleries. Provided that, these days some

Museums

are trying to replace their country's heritage with others and

this

is completely unacceptable. As these are the only means for us to connect to our predecessors, people running these

places

should concentrate more on showing their own history and in

this

essay I will try to explain why in detail.

Firstly

due to

the vast development of ,technology most people especially the younger generation do not know their own nation's history.

Museums

are the best

places

where we can re-live our past by looking at the things they used during those days. It is a wonderful experience for everyone as they get to know about the struggles and

also

efforts made by older ones to give the society which we are living

upon

Change preposition

show examples

For instance

, if the Schools take their students to those

places

and show all the previous lives and inventions made by early people,

also

these will be the standard proofs so that students will understand the importance of their heritage and protect them. Once there used to be

past

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

classes where everything

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be taught but nowadays

due to

the other ,requirements these are getting replaced by other topics. Though it is imperative for coming generations to know about their past, the government is neglecting to highlight them.

For example

, a couple of years ago a famous magazine called British Times posted devastating headlines stating that almost 60% of London Museum art is replaced by other countries' work, it is very sad to see their younger ones not knowing the facts and past of their own community. After a huge protest,

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the government is trying to collect all of its heritage.

To conclude

museums

and Galleries are the only

places

where one can get to see their own previous history and at any ,cost

this

should be neglected and replaced by other countries' wealth as it may lead to very serious consequences in the future.

Submitted by sumanthreddy666111 on Fri Apr 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure is weak and the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall reasoning of the essay. The essay should have a clear intro, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response but lacks clear comprehensive ideas. Make sure to fully address all parts of the task and support the main points effectively.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The importance of biodiversity is being recognized as in creasing number of species. Why is special loss occurring? What are the potential effects of this?

In some countries, the number of shooting massacres is on the rise because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

in some countries, the cost livig rapidly increasing. what do you think may be the reasons for this? what effects might this have on society?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?