In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business as people drive to the bigger city stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to shops outside the city, which may lead to increased use of cars. Do you think the advantages of this change outweigh the disadvantages?

At present,
due to
the growing urbanisation in most countries, people tend to work and live in metropolitans,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
causes shopping malls or independent
stores
located in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
less populated areas to close, and the commercial market is gradually dominated by large companies. As far as I am concerned,
that is
more beneficial to society. It is trendy that consumers prefer purchasing versatile items in a bigger
city
nowadays because they can get whatever they want all at once in multiple
stores
in the central business district within walking distance. In Taiwan, millions of citizens living in New Taipei
City
, but most of them work and spend their leisure time shopping or finding entertainment in Taipei
City
, the Capital of Taiwan. What's more, the entrepreneurs build premium
stores
with abundant products and gorgeous interior decorations to attract clients, and that reduces the cost to
set
Correct article usage
a set
show examples
amount of local shops in every town.
On the other hand
, people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote areas have to drive a long distance to the central business district to satisfy their basic needs for living, and
that is
harmful to the environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because driving a private car would lead to more emissions of greenhouse gas, like carbon dioxide.
However
, there is no need for the suppliers to transport merely a few goods to a remote area to satisfy the demand from small towns, and that could reduce the pollution of delivery as well. All in all, despite the pollution from consumers driving their private cars to
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
city
Add the comma(s)
,city
show examples
might increase, the pollution from companies would decrease, thanks to less distance to deliver products and cost reduction from opening only premium
stores
.
Therefore
,
although
there are pros and cons to the phenomenon that more
stores
are open in the well-developed area, I consider there are more good than bad.
Submitted by james801004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: