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Writing Samples
Band 5

9.Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #activities
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Education
play
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plays
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 a vital role in every
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
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 life and
demand
Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
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 time investment in order to succeed. Especially,
post graduate
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postgraduate
show examples
students
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 are required to indulge
into
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in
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 extensive
hours
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 of learning which should not be done at the cost of
health
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. In my opinion, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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holistic development physical activities are as imperative as studying. To excel at
tertiary
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the tertiary
a tertiary
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 level of education
students
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 are required to do deep analysis in the
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 field which is a
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 task. At
this
Linking Words
 level of
academics
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,academics
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 aspirants write
lengthy
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a lengthy
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thesis
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theses
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, validated and referenced by experts of the faculty for which
students
Use synonyms
 read
plethora
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a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of books and articles. One can easily do the peripheral studies and can scan the books in
few
Correct article usage
a few
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hours
Use synonyms
 but
this
Linking Words
 way of studying
do
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does
show examples
 not allow a student to
graps
Correct your spelling
grasp
 the concept properly and become a future expert.
However
Linking Words
,
students
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 may need to become a book worm at higher levels of education but should
also
Linking Words
 focus to stay fit mentally and physically.
Continuoius
Correct your spelling
Continuous
 and long
study
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 sessions usually become monotonous and
curtails
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curtail
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 the attentiveness among
students
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.
Cognative
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Cognitive
health
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 is directly related
with
Change preposition
to
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physical
Add an article
the physical
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health
Use synonyms
 of a person,
hence
Linking Words
 to
maintaine
Correct your spelling
maintain
 both
students
Use synonyms
 should engage in sports and other co-curricular activities. For an instance, my friend Mukesh was a bright student but gradually he lost his learning abilities
due to
Linking Words
 excessive
study
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 over many years. Doctors advised him to go on a vacation where he can do other activities of his interest which eventually helped him to come out of the situation. To recapitulate, both
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
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 and having fun are crucial to
achieve
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achieving
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 desired goals and
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
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students
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 should do hard work in
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 field but not at the cost of their
health
Use synonyms
. I reckon they should make a schedule with a balance of
study
Use synonyms
 and recreational
hours
Use synonyms
 to
rejuvinate
Correct your spelling
rejuvenate
 and destress themself.
Submitted by navjotkaur12363 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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