Overconsumption of sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take the responsibility to control sugar intake while others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.opinion about it.

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Consuming large amounts of sugary

foods

Use synonyms

could result in health problems in the future.

However

Linking Words

, some believe that individuals should be responsible for controlling their

sugar

Use synonyms

consumption,

while

Linking Words

others believe

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

the

government

Use synonyms

's role. In my view, it is the

government

Use synonyms

who should regulate the

Use synonyms

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of sweet

products

Use synonyms

on the market. When people take the notion that each and every person is supposed to make sure that they watch the

amount

Use synonyms

sugar

Use synonyms

they consume, they are usually

refering

Correct your spelling

referring

to people who are health

consious

Correct your spelling

conscious

. If someone understands the negative effects of taking in a lot of sugars,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they are likely to reduce or stop eating them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, even if they want to, they find it difficult because there are no other alternatives.

For instance

Linking Words

, there has been a growing concern that most South African school tuckshops sell sweets, chocolates and cakes

instead

Linking Words

of fruits which put the children at risk of

non communicable

Add a hyphen

non-communicable

show examples

diseases in the

lon

Correct your spelling

long

run. In order that

sugar

Use synonyms

intake

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

reduced, the

government

Use synonyms

should

be make

Change the verb form

make

show examples

sure that it controls the

amount

Use synonyms

sugar

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

put in

foods

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such

Linking Words

as fizzy drinks, juices, alcohol, bread and cakes. These are the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

foods

Use synonyms

mostly consumed by a large number of people on a daily basis.

This

Linking Words

can be done by introducing

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a sugar-tax

show examples

sugar-tax

Correct your spelling

sugar tax

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, introducing

this

Linking Words

worked significantly in the UK,

such

Linking Words

that the South African

government

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

introduced it.

As a result

Linking Words

, the companies reduced

Use synonyms

amount

Correct article usage

the amount

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

they added to their

products

Use synonyms

and as well increased their prices.

Hence

Linking Words

, the consumers couldn't afford to buy them in large quantities.

Besides

Linking Words

these stiff laws, the authorities can

also

Linking Words

regulate the types of

foods

Use synonyms

that should be sold in schools

as well as

Linking Words

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

sure that sweet items which are normally placed in tills be placed

Change preposition

show examples

the back shelves of the supermarkets.

This

Linking Words

prevents impulse buying associated with the purchase of these goods. Moreso, advertisements of

such

Linking Words

products

Use synonyms

can be stopped by the

government

Use synonyms

and be replaced by healthier

foods

Use synonyms

which include vegetables and fruits. In conclusion,

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

intake of sugary

foods

Use synonyms

results in an unhealthy nation. Even if individuals try to reduce eating them,

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

remains a governmental responsibility to

reduces

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

these

products

Use synonyms

by regulating production and advertisements.

rosstigereSun Apr 23 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

380 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.