IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
The bar chart below represents information about five vital unsimilar groups which contain different nations in the year 2009.  Looking from the
overall
 perspective, it is
evidently
Replace the word
evident
show examples
 that Food,
Hausing
Correct your spelling
Housing
,
Transportation
Correct word choice
and Transportation
show examples
 are the biggest expenses nearly in all countries which provides on the chart. The leader in spending on food
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 Japan.
However
, the leader in spending on housing is the United
States
.
Also
, Canada spends the most on transportation. Healthcare shows the lowest figures of all categories. Clothing represents a little higher proportion compared to healthcare. The lowest expenditure on food is 14% ( United
States
) and the highest is 24% (Japan). Housing costs
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 slightly higher figures in all countries. Canada spends the least of all countries in
this
 category 20% .
In contrast
, the United
States
 spend the most
26
Change preposition
at 26
show examples
% . In the transportation group Canada spends the most 20% and Japan the least 10%. In terms of
healthcare
Add a comma
,healthcare
show examples
 the United
States
 is a leader ( around 8%) and the United Kingdom is the most economical lower than 5%. Canadians spend the most money from their income 7%.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 citizens of the United
States
 spend the lowest amount of money 4%.
Submitted by slobodanatol83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words states with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: