The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year

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The bar chart below represents information about five vital unsimilar groups which contain different nations in the year 2009. Looking from the

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is

evidently

Replace the word

evident

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that Food,

Hausing

Correct your spelling

Housing

Transportation

Correct word choice

and Transportation

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are the biggest expenses nearly in all countries which provides on the chart. The leader in spending on food

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Japan.

However

Linking Words

, the leader in spending on housing is the United

States

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Also

Linking Words

, Canada spends the most on transportation. Healthcare shows the lowest figures of all categories. Clothing represents a little higher proportion compared to healthcare. The lowest expenditure on food is 14% ( United

States

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) and the highest is 24% (Japan). Housing costs

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

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slightly higher figures in all countries. Canada spends the least of all countries in

this

Linking Words

category 20% .

In contrast

Linking Words

, the United

States

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spend the most

Change preposition

at 26

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% . In the transportation group Canada spends the most 20% and Japan the least 10%. In terms of

healthcare

Add a comma

,healthcare

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the United

States

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is a leader ( around 8%) and the United Kingdom is the most economical lower than 5%. Canadians spend the most money from their income 7%.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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citizens of the United

States

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spend the lowest amount of money 4%.

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Sun Apr 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words states with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

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The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. agree = followers, lovers, copy disagree = skip, do not care

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.