some people think that modern games can help children develop wide range of skill . but other think that traditional game can be much better for developing such skills. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that contemporary
games
deliver the development of numerous skills among
kids
whereas
some think that old-styled
games
are better in
this
particular situation.
This
essay agrees that state-of-the-art activities help
children
to learn useful skills necessary for modern professionals and to have successful communications with peers.
To begin
with,
children
's
games
are based on modern technology advantages, so these days
kids
are playing on their devices building the alternative universe.
Moreover
, they are able to code and create simple applications for smartphones.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the Economist shows that more than half of
children
born after 2015 spend their leisure time doing activities on the screen and online.
Thus
, thank
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these factors modern
kids
are advanced in IT.
Furthermore
,
children
familiar with the latest
kids
' entertainment trends have more chances to build strong relationships with people of the same age. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is proven by psychologists, activities shared with others lead to better friendships.
Children
who can understand the aspirations of their classmates are mostly popular in the class. In conclusion,
this
essay argued in support of modern
games
as they lead to a successful career and stronger friendships for those who play them.
Submitted by kuralay.abylgazina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: