The chart below shows the result of survey of patient who stayed in three different wards of a hospitals. It shows what percentage of the patients replied "very good" aout various aspects of their hospital ecperience.

The chart below shows the result of survey of patient who stayed in three different wards of a hospitals. It shows what percentage of the patients replied "very good" aout various aspects of their hospital ecperience.
The bar chart depicts data about the hospital experience survey in its
three
wards
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
Holloy Ward gained the best reputation in all four different experiences.
Additionally
, the other
wards
got the worst at least one factor. In terms of Holly Ward, most of the survey results gained high patient satisfaction. The figure in hospital staff, the quality of treatment and aftercare accounted for approximately 88%, 90% and 89% respectively. These results were superior compared to the remaining
wards
.
On the other hand
, the component in waiting time was relatively lower than these
three
experiences, which was around 75%.
However
, its outcome was still better than the other
wards
.
On the other hand
, patients were not satisfied with the Maple
wards
.
This
got the worst reputation in
three
aspects out of four.
For instance
, except for the treatment quality, about 50% of their patients felt
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
with its services. (approximately 55% in staff and waiting time and 52% in aftercare)
Finally
, the survey results in Oak Ward were the average of
three
wards
. Its highest percentage was 80% in treatment quality and its lowest was just over 50% in waiting time. The remaining aspects were around 70%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, wards with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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