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Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government of the country to ensure a healthy lifestyle for its people, while others believe that individuals should be free to make decisions for their lifestyles. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #responsibility #government #country #lifestyle #individuals #decisions #lifestyles
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In fact, The topic has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multipule
Correct your spelling
multiple
 aspects and different points. The
health
Use synonyms
 of
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
 not affect only
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 life of them, but
also
Linking Words
 affect the whole
conutry
Correct your spelling
country
 position. So, when we care about our
health
Use synonyms
, we drow our future. In my opinion, I think that
peaples
Correct your spelling
peoples
people's
health
Use synonyms
conseders
Correct your spelling
considers
 their
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
,
however
Linking Words
, we can find in some countries the government share that
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 with individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA we find that the government provides
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of healthcare for
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 don't afford to pay the cost. I think that
this
Linking Words
 point means that the
governmenat
Correct your spelling
government
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to help the people to take care of their
healt
Correct your spelling
health
 and to keep them always in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
 condition.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government can't take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decisions for you like 'what you eat, how is your fitness'. So, I see that if you take
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
 yourself and your family, you will find that the picture is completed by your role and
Correct article usage
the governments
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governments
Change noun form
government's
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 role.
Finally
Linking Words
, it will take just a minute
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you to eat
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
 food or sweets, but
this
Linking Words
 minute will affect all
your
Change preposition
of your
show examples
 coming life. Stay healthy for you and your family.
Submitted by dr.engymagdy90 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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