IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

the family values are deteriorating ,what are the positive and negative changes? what is your opinion

#values #changes
It is undeniable that nowadays individuals live in a nuclear family and loss their bond with their family members. For these ,reason their moral values are decreasing, and it can badly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their relationships. In my ,perspective family
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 are crucial for living in a happy environment
andtogether
Correct your spelling
and together
altogether
. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, I believe that to build a strong relationship in the family. There must be some values namely trust, loyalty, love, speaking the truth , and respect for other family members are inherited by their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 with these they can nurture their relationship. So, they can help each other in their tough time and grow. These family morals can help them to outshine individuals to succeed and give them respect from society.
Hence
,
this
 is
Add an article
a benefit
the benefit
show examples
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 to have family values in my opinion. On second thought, those people who have less or deteriorate these morals faced
any
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 difficulties. Particularly, they disconnected from their friends and relatives. One result of
this
 is that they faced men
Submitted by sam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: