IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give your opinion and support it with reasons.

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It is been argued that nuclear technology is a blessing to the world in providing the much-required
energy
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 with little impact on the earth's environment.
However
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, others suggest that it is dangerous for mankind as
countries
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 use
this
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 technology to create lethal weapons which can destroy life on Earth. In my opinion, If the method is used for the betterment, it can save our atmosphere from pollution.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and derive a logical conclusion. Technology is improving every day
due to
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this
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 there is a greater demand for
energy
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. Since
fossils fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fossil fuels
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 are limited, there is a need for alternative sources to produce
energy
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 and one of them is nuclear
energy
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. When
this
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 method is used in a controlled way, it produces a cleaner and cheaper source of power.
Further
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, there is an abundant supply of radioactive materials which are consumed in
this
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 method. Developed
countries
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such
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 as the United States are generating approximately 70% of the demand using controlled nuclear fusion and
thus
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, one of the heavy consumers of power with uninterrupted supply.
On the other hand
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, many
countries
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 are using nuclear processes to create weapons to create their supremacy. After
world war
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World War
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 II, many nations started building new arsenals using these methods. Most
countries
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 these days are holding nuclear warheads, which are not only dangerous for the nations at war but
also
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 their entire life on earth.
For instance
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, Russia and the USA are competing to maximize nuclear warheads. In conclusion,
although
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 people are using radioactive methods
for creating
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to create
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 threatening arms, in my opinion, there is an immediate need for a continuous supply of clean
energy
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 to save the planet from carbon emissions generated by fossil fuels.
Therefore
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, nations should focus on using these methods constructively rather than building dangerous weapons.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are logically connected and well-organized. However, there is room for improving on the connection of your main points to your supporting evidence. Be sure each example specifically backs up the point you're making, rather than asserting generally accepted notions.
task achievement
You've done well in delivering a complete response, providing clear and comprehensive ideas backed up by relevant examples. Nevertheless, there is room for improvement with regards to bringing in more specific examples. While the USA-Russia reference is relevant, consider more diverse examples that could augment your argument.
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