Young people spend most of their free time in shopping malls . This has many negative impacts on young people and society. do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #impacts #society

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Nowadays,

people

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residing in different nations have hard contrasting views about

teenagers

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teenagers'

teenager's

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time

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managment

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management

and

effects

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its effects

show examples

both on the young

people

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and

community

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the community

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. In my

view

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,view

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no one

spend

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spends

show examples

their free

time

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in shopping

malls

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even young

people

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should never spend in it.

This

Linking Words

essay will touch upon why young

man

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men

show examples

do not spend their free

time

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in shopping

malls

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. In the beginning, shopping

malls

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are not

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the

show examples

best place to get socialized. It is covered with walls so there is no fresh

air

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and sun so that

Linking Words

this

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these

show examples

places

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are not

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

healthy

places

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. For

examples

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example

show examples

, teenagers should spend their

time

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in parks,

gym

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gyms

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cafe

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cafes

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for their own

benefits

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benefit

show examples

. They are still in a growing age and they need to

breath

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breathe

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fresh

air

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, or do some exercises in parks rather than sitting in shopping

malls

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Therefore

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, young human's

this

Linking Words

behaviour is not a

reasonable

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reason

show examples

for their health and their own growing process.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

action

also

Linking Words

Change the verb form

effects

show examples

effect

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affect

show examples

the society. There

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are

show examples

much

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many

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negative impacts on teenagers.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

shooping

Correct your spelling

shopping

Use synonyms

malls

Add a comma

,malls

show examples

humans can not get socialized too much so

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

new generation would not teach their children to how to talk or treat other humans correctly. In

this

Linking Words

way

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,way

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it caused generational

problem

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problems

show examples

Linking Words

Also

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,Also

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elderly

people

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spend most of their

time

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in parks or

open

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open-air

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air

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places

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young

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the young

show examples

man

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men

show examples

can not speak with them and do not learn

their

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about their

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experineces

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experiences

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show examples

life.

To sum up

Linking Words

there is so much negative effect on society. In a nutshell, spending

time

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in shopping

malls

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is caused serious

damaged

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damage

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both individual and

also

Linking Words

for the community. I

Unnecessary verb

apply

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totaly

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totally

agree with

this

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statement about

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

effects on young

people

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Goverments

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Governments

and parents should encourage the youth

people

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for spending

time

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open

Add a hyphen

open-air

show examples

air

Use synonyms

places

Use synonyms

for their own

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

Submitted by basolasli2 on Tue Apr 25 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Young people spend most of their free time in shopping malls . This has many negative impacts on young people and society. do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree ?

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter:  explain why you need this time off  give details of when you want this time off  say who can do your work when you are away

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?