Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Well,
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
these days young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to adjust their
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Correct article usage
the life

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards

If you don’t want standarts to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of popular
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my opinion, that can cause negative and positive results.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if young ones implement
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

copying system accurately, they will acquire their goals swiftly.
Threrefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore

If you don’t want Threrefore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay I will discuss that matter. First of all, there is a motto which says that "
fake
Correct your spelling
Fake

The word fake doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
it, till you make it". The meaning of
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

copying your idol's
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

terms.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you have to wake up at the same time
with
Change preposition
as

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them, you have to make
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits

If you don’t want habbits to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, eat like them and even you must wear
like
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

system can be very helpful to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who do not know how to make a schedule or a plan. Humans usually like or love
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
who most like them. It means that if they choose an idol, that person will be like them and they will probably
shares
Change the verb form
share

The verb shares after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same kind does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
kind of ambitions. So, using these
peoples'
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
guideline
Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines

It seems that guideline may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
must be very useful for storing more energy because they won't
ought to
Remove a modal verb
apply

The verbs, wo and ought, are both modal verbs. You cannot use two modal verbs in one clause. Remove one of these verbs.

show examples
think about basic daily plans.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's lives are more appropriate for changes
becuase
Correct your spelling
because

If you don’t want becuase to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

it is not in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
final form. As I mentioned youngsters
shoud
Correct your spelling
should

If you don’t want shoud to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

be
carfeful
Correct your spelling
careful

If you don’t want carfeful to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

about doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

correctly.
Thay
Correct your spelling
They

The word Thay doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
just
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject Thay. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to get
main
Correct article usage
the main

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
stripes of those famous
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's live
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because

If you don’t want beacuse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the end it can cause
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
serious obstacles
about
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
character building. They should realize simultaneously that they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have their own limits and individual borders during the period. If they become someone else
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trying to do
best
Correct pronoun usage
their best

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
for their lives, it can be a massive remorse.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, adopting someone's
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be very dangerous and regretful.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, If young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are aware of what they are doing
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be very efficient.
Submitted by alimammadlicf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • aspire
  • influenced by
  • lifestyle
  • fashion choices
  • social media
  • visibility
  • accessible
  • desirable
  • followers
  • endorsements
  • marketing campaigns
  • trendsetters
  • peer pressure
  • conformity
  • emulate
  • experiment
  • identity
  • express themselves
  • admire
What to do next:
Look at other essays: