Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Some people believe that, if
children
are given the opportunity to
decidesome
Correct your spelling
decide some
people believe that, if
children
are giving the opportunity to decide what they want in everyday
life
, they might turn
to
Change preposition
out to
show examples
be individuals who are selfish. Other people argue that it is vital for
children
to decide what they want about matters related to them.
This
essay will discuss both arguments before a conclusion is declared.
To begin
with,
children
would always live to have their way around daily
life
. Not only does allowing them to make their one
decisions
make them selfish but
also
, it could make them go
waywayd
Correct your spelling
away
. Research shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a child's mind is not fully developed until age 24.
This
means thy a child might not be able to distinguish the right from the wrong
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
might end up making bad
decisions
that will not only affect him or her but
also
could affect their guardians as well.
For instance
, many
children
are fond of eating sweets and if not under supervision can decide to eat sweets the whole day which is not healthy for them.
However
,
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
children
are allowed to make their own
decisions
under strict supervision, it enables them
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
independent in the future. Most
children
depend on their parents or caretakers to make
decisions
for them even when they become young adults.
This
is because, growing up, they were not given the opportunity to make their own
decisions
.
This
results in young adults who are not confident enough to take up
life
decisions
.
Hence
, they become
scare
Change the form of the verb
scared
show examples
to take up new initiatives.
To conclude
,
although
allowing
children
to make their own
decisions
about issues related to them has both negatives and positives, I believe that
children
should not be left alone to take their own
decisions
in
life
.
Instead
, they should be guided and aligned so that the
decisions
they take can bring a positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their lives.
Submitted by fremaadjei18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: