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Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #postgraduates #students #work #college
The bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the destination of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British graduates and postgraduates after leaving college in 2008.
Overall
, it can be observed that the figure for
further
 study was the most significant trend among graduates.
Also
, the figure for voluntary
work
 represented the least number of
students
 in both charts. It is notable that the
further
 study was by far more than others with almost, 30000
students
,
while
 the voluntary
work
 was six times lower than
this
 figure and showed the lowest point with 3500
students
.
Likewise
,
it is clear that
 the figures for part-time
work
 and unemployment were almost the same, 17735 and 16235
students
 respectively. There was a slight
diffence
Correct your spelling
difference
 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 figures,
further
 study had more
students
 than part-time
work
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 200
students
. The lowest trend was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary
work
 with 345
students
 and the second lowest point was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment.
However
, it was three times higher than voluntary
work
 with 1625
students
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pursue
  • enhance
  • skillset
  • gain experience
  • expand knowledge
  • acquire
  • develop
  • employment prospects
  • participate
  • contribute
  • job market
  • seek
  • apply for
  • opportunities
  • gain valuable insights
  • explore
  • unemployment rate
  • entrepreneurship
  • set up
  • initiate
  • establish
  • start a business
  • self-employment
  • chart
  • data
  • statistics
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • students
  • college
  • full-time work
  • leaving
  • further studies
  • part-time work
  • internships
  • volunteer work
  • travel
  • starting own business
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