Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays,
people
start to pay attention on
Change preposition
to
children
's early development, some people
consider allowing children
to choices on everyday matters
depends
on their Wrong verb form
depending
willing
can lead to a selfish Replace the word
willingness
society
, while
others think children
make
own decisions on their own Wrong verb form
making
matters
is important. In my opinion, although
allowing children
to make their choices in anything may spoil them and lead to a society
lacking of
cooperation, its benefits on kids' Remove the preposition
apply
personality
development can not be ignored.
To begin
with, excessive
Change the word
excessively
saticifiing
every Correct your spelling
satisfying
choices
of Change to a singular noun
choice
children
can spoil them, once they find their choice can not be satisified
they will become perverse. If Correct your spelling
satisfied
this
kind of personality
become
common among Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
people
, society
will become lacking of cooperation.Those people
who were indulged by their parents when they were young will always think they are right, they will feel it is difficult to accept other suggestions. It can be painful,
because there are many things that need to be compromised in life. Remove the comma
apply
People
live
in Correct pronoun usage
who live
this
vibe will become lacking of
trust and hard to cooperate.
Remove the preposition
apply
However
, allowing children
to make their own choice in moderation is
able Unnecessary verb
apply
to
cultivate their independent Fix the infinitive
apply
personality
. They will gain confidence and learn how to take responsibility by making Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
choice
on certain Fix the agreement mistake
choices
matters
. For instance
, children
who choose a packaged toy are responsible for its result, regardless of whatever
the toy inside is worth to play or not. Correct word choice
whether
Additionaly
, Correct your spelling
Additionally
children
who pick their own interest classes will treat the courses more seriously, they are more likely achieve
good results.
In conclusion, Fix the infinitive
to achieve
children
make
decisions by Wrong verb form
making
them selves
can improve their confidence and Correct your spelling
themselves
the
sense of responsibility, which has a positive impact on Correct article usage
apply
development
of Add an article
the development
independent
Correct article usage
an independent
personality
. On the other hand
, parents extremely indulge children
on
every Change preposition
in
matters
may spoil them, Change to a singular noun
matter
our
Correct word choice
and our
society
will become self serving
if Add a hyphen
self-serving
this
educational mode become
a social consensus.Change the verb form
becomes
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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