IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

nowadys many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization.what might this be the case.what could be the disadvantages of being self-empolyed.

It is undeniable that in contemporary ,society individuals are choosing to be self-employed
instead
Linking Words
 of working in companies.
This
Linking Words
 behaviour may be related to the necessity of having the
time
Use synonyms
 better scheduled by some people. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
Linking Words
 initiative may cause financial problems for people who do not manage
such
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, being self-employed gives individuals a chance to establish their own work schedule, because
this
Linking Words
 opportunity creates a possibility to manage
time
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 people’s availability.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, individuals may have more
time
Use synonyms
 to balance daily tasks between their work and lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is known that 4 out 6 Brazilian citizens who are self-employees relate a significant increase in financial resources after choosing work in their own schedule sealing their products
according to
Linking Words
 their available
time
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 they relate more
time
Use synonyms
 available to spend with their family without work’ tasks interruptions.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 choice can give the chance to maintain a more effective life balance,
this
Linking Words
 initiative
also
Linking Words
 can put individuals’ finances in a dangerous situation, as people are working above their own schedule, they sometimes may not be able to achieve their employment goals,
consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue will probably compromise people’s economy, which leads to financial’s debts.
For example
Linking Words
, it is known that several debts are created per year in Brazil for self-employees
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they were not able to control their finances well and
this
Linking Words
 situation put them in a declining economic position.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I do believe that self-employees have the opportunity to well manage their
time
Use synonyms
 even though
this
Linking Words
 possibility can be dangerous when it comes to financial resources as
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 initiative evolves quality management toward word tasks. Ideally,
this
Linking Words
 choice needs to be made individually as each person has their own abilities and perspectives to be managed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: