IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the media, such as newspapers, should be allowed to publish information about people’s private lives. Others, however, think that there should be controls to stop this media from providing this kind of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the current age,
although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that publishing private
information
Use synonyms
 about
people
Use synonyms
's lives in different types of media should be authorized,
others
Use synonyms
 believe
information
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 should be unauthorized.
However
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, I think when
people
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's
information
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be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 accessed
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the public that would have a positive impact on society. On the one hand, humans address their problems more easily when they know other
people
Use synonyms
 cope with the same situations.
In other words
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, if successful
people
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 revealed their difficulties and how they tackled them, that would give
others
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 a guideline to follow to deal with their difficulties. A prime example of
this
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 is a biography story which shows the whole person's life with successful and failed moments.
Thus
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,
this
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 type of personal
information
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 empowers
others
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 to be more active and positive in their lives.
On the other hand
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, the availability of public
information
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 about
people
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's lives could be a hazard for them.
This
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 means that when
people
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 podcast their
information
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, that would let them be more exposed to misused
information
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 from
others
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.
For example
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, a
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
 research conducted by social scientists at Jordan University, it was revealed that students who published their
information
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 on social media were more abused
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of hackers.
Hence
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, private
information
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 should not be public and
people
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 have to be more knowledgeable and aware to secure their
information
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 think that private
information
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 about a person's life should be public,
others
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 think the opposite.
Therefore
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, I am convinced that
publish
Wrong verb form
publishing
show examples
 details data about
personal's
Replace the word
person's
show examples
 life is encouraging and stimulating for
others
Use synonyms
.

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