You exercise regularly and have been a member of many different gyms. Recently you moved into a new neighbourhood and joined a new gym. You have noticed people at this gym do not bother to wipe down the machines after use and often leave dirty towels on the benches in the changing rooms. Write to Mr Koto, the manager. In your letter: Explain who you are Describe the problem exactly Make suggestions to improve the gym

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Dear Mr. Koto, My name is Tajinder Singh. I recently moved

due to

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my new job posting in

this

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area and became a premium member of your gym after reading good reviews about your gym. Unfortunately, I am writing

this

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letter to express my dissatisfaction with the irresponsible behaviour of some members of the health club, who always leave machines full of sweat and do not bother to clean them after using them.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some individuals just throw dirty towels and wipes on the benches in the changing rooms and do not even make the effort to use a laundry basket. So, It is a very unhygienic practice for them and can cause many health-related issues. In the end, I would appreciate it if you could make some strict rules and regulations for using all types of equipment of the health club with a penalty if someone does not follow them. Please give the matter your immediate attention. Thank you in advance for your time. Yours sincerely, Tajinder Singh

tajinder.panagWed Jan 31 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task response, include more specific examples or suggestions. For instance, propose a sign reminding users to wipe down machines or request increased monitoring by gym staff.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, connect your paragraphs with phrases like 'In addition to this,' or 'Furthermore,' to guide the reader through your points.

Suitable Writing Tone

Make sure to also provide a positive comment regarding aspects you enjoy about the new gym. This balances criticism and maintains a polite tone throughout the letter.

Language Accuracy

Remember to carefully check your letter for minor grammatical errors to increase the overall accuracy of the writing.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

169 words

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