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Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing University education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job.On the the other hand,other people think that getting experience and developing skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
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It has been argued by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a graduate is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to land oneself a good
job
Use synonyms
 .
While
Linking Words
 others believed that developing
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 is the best. In my own opinion, I am of the view that getting
experience
Use synonyms
 and
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 is the
way
Use synonyms
 to get a good
job
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
In
Change preposition
With
show examples
 respect to the
perceptives
Correct your spelling
perceptions
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who believed that completing
Use synonyms
first
Add an article
a first
the first
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to get a good
job
Use synonyms
.*( you have not
finish
Change the verb form
finished
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement)* They have suggested that, ~Admittedly~ decades back having a
first
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 is the surest
way
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 to get good jobs with a competitive salary
this
Linking Words
 is because there are few who are educated and so if you are graduate you become a hot cake for employers for are struggling to get one in their organization but lately
people
Use synonyms
 are now enlightened about education as
such
Linking Words
 there are thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 with
first
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 making the vacancies available more competitive than ever before.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, being a graduate does not
guaranteed
Change the verb form
guarantee
show examples
 landing a good
job
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 because some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 give preference to those with higher
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 like
Masters
Change noun form
Masters's
Master's
show examples
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 and PhD
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result making
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 rate among youths with
first
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
rise.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others have argued that getting
experience
Use synonyms
 and developing
skills
Use synonyms
 is more important. In my own
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 group are more able to get jobs because
skills
Use synonyms
 are more marketable in the labour market than
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
skills
Use synonyms
 and
experience
Use synonyms
 help
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 to establish themselves by owning their own business Enterprise
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 their counterparts who depends on salary.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
small scale
Add a hyphen
small-scale
show examples
 business tends to boost the National economy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is continuity in the transfer of Knowledge and
experience
Use synonyms
 among the younger generation even if they are illiterate as it is not stressful to enrol. Conclusively, completing
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
 education is thought by some
people
Use synonyms
 to be the
way
Use synonyms
 to get a good
job
Use synonyms
 because in their own
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it helps to land good jobs and
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
 salary
while
Linking Words
 I am of the opinion that getting
experience
Use synonyms
 and developing
skills
Use synonyms
 are more important as
this
Linking Words
 help to boost the national economy, continuity of knowledge and
experience
Use synonyms
 and production of entrepreneurs.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: