IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say it is necessary to spend money on railway joining two cities,other think is better to spend on existing public transport system discuss both issues and give your opinion

In order to
travel
Use synonyms
 to
cities
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, some
people
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argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
 that it is mandatory to spend more
money
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 on railways.
While
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 some others often believe that it is better to improve the
transport
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 system. In my perspective, travelling in dreams can save more
time
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.
Besides
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, it is more convenient and comfortable. In
this
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 advanced world,
people
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 are busy with their life. So that, the public can save
time
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while
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 utilising trains to
travel
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.
In other words
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, public vehicles take an enormous
time
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 to reach their destination.
This
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 is because these types of motors need to overcome traffic
as well as
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 they need to stop vehicles on the way when anyone needs to get in. In the case of the metro, they do not take much
time
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 to
travel
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.
Moreover
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, it only stops at a particular station for a
while
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.
For instance
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, the Kochi metro is the fastest railway in Kerala which take only for short
time
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 to
travel
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 to major
cities
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.
Hence
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, the authority utilises much
money
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 for connecting more
cities
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 on reaching major
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, the government can disburse
money
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 on public
transport
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 for adding more vehicles. In case
people
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 lost any
transport
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 to reach a destination at a
time
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, they can utilise the other one
while
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 increasing the number of public buses to society.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, Metros are more convenient and easy to
travel
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.
Change preposition
to.
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 There is not much difference in the cost of public
transport
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 and metro.
In addition
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 to that, these kinds of motors would not produce any harmful air into the atmosphere.
Nevertheless
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, the fuel type vehicle how tender to produce smoke which can cause air pollution. To recapitulate, some
people
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 want to spend more
money
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 on the railway in order to get easy and more convenient. ,
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However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some others need to improve public
transport
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while
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 using a lot of
money
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 I think that it is better to utilise a lot of
money
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 on the railway.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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