The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkwort and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkwort and the stages in the production of silk cloth.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first diagram shows the stages of a
silkworm
Use synonyms
's life cycle,
while
Linking Words
the second diagram shows the production of
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
cloth.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are four stages in the life cycle of the
silkworm
Use synonyms
from egg
silk
Use synonyms
thread. The production of
silk
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cloth anatomy is characterised by simple ways, commencing with water and ending with the weave.
Initially
Linking Words
,
egg
Fix the agreement mistake
eggs
show examples
are laid on the underside of a leaf and remain there for ten
days
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.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
silkworm
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larvae usually
eats
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eat
show examples
leaves like mulberry leaves from the eggs and continue in that form for between 4 to 6 weeks.
At the end
Linking Words
of the 10
days
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, the
silk
Use synonyms
thread
stage
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remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
there for another 3 to 8
days
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and
then
Linking Words
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
an oval cocoon on the backside of a leaf .
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the cocoon
stage
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lasts for around 16
days
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and they become
moth
Fix the agreement mistake
moths
show examples
in the final
stage
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.
At the end
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, the moths
emerges
Change the verb form
emerge
show examples
and the life cycle starts again. The second diagram shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the production of
silk
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cloth ,which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
five stages.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
silk
Use synonyms
thread of the
silkworm
Use synonyms
is selected and
then
Linking Words
boiled in the next
stage
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. After boiling in water the threads are unwinded and they are often 300 to 900
meter
Fix the agreement mistake
meters
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
these are twisted and dyed and
finally
Linking Words
, those are weaved to
silk
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, at the end, initially".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words silkworm, silk, days, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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