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Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
During
Change preposition
For
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 thousand
years
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of years
show examples
art
 is part of
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
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.
Art
 is quite
abstractive
Replace the word
abstract
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 and wide definition.
Art
 is
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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our
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of our
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live
Replace the word
lives
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 from drawing
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
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 on the sand
till
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to
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 modern buildings.
Art
 influences
on
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apply
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our
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and in general can
shows
Change the verb form
show
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 the quality of our
life
.
Art
relate
Correct subject-verb agreement
relates
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
society
Correct word choice
and society
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relate
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relates
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 to the
government
. All of them are connected. Individuals of
society
 pay fees to the
government
,
these
Change the determiner
this money
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money
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to internal and external economic, military staff,
to
Change preposition
apply
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public services and different others. State
money
 distribution is
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
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 task that should be solved by wisdom
society
. Music, theatre, paintings,
monuments
Correct word choice
and monuments
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 are part of our environment.
Government
Add an article
A government
The government
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 that
take
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takes
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 care
about
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of
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 its population can invest
money
 in
art
. In
this
case
Add a comma
,case
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 it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
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 citizen to fill
theirself
Correct your spelling
their self
 better
while
 going to work, or walking with friends.
Art
 takes care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our souls. Spending time in opera or theatre can
be invest
Change the verb form
be invested
show examples
 in
good
Add an article
a good
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 mood and productive work. If people have opportunities to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rest not only on
sofa
Add an article
the sofa
a sofa
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 near the TV at home
,
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apply
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 but cultural rest in
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 or conservatory, the quality of their
life
 will increase.
Art
 can decrease the level of depression and anxiety, which can lead to
society
Replace the word
social
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 development.
However
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can invest any
money
 in the arts to improve
cultural
Add an article
the cultural
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 level and psychological status of the population.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 public health need investment, as other public services. Because of
this
, some people think that
government
 investment in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 is a waste of
money
. Politicians who think so wouldn’t take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 important part of our
life
.
Combination
Correct article usage
A combination
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 of
art
 and social investment is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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key to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
this
 task. How to figure out what percentage should be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
 is another discussionable question.
Submitted by oimigle on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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