Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's world, social
media
is a major concern with significant growth and popularity that
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
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all people worldwide.
However
,it is obvious that sharing personal information through social
media
websites is a serious danger nowadays .In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will discuss both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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and drawbacks of using social
medial
Fix the agreement mistake
media
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in communities. On one hand,numerous users of social
media
are completely addicted owing to these positive effects in increasing their lifestyle and connectivity.
For example
,social
media
allows people to connect with others from anywhere in the world which can lead to a rise in social networking opportunities and
also
the exchange of information and ideas .
Moreover
, it is an important platform that provides educational resources
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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rather easy to access ,
such
as online courses and educational programmes.
On the other hand
,
this
impressive tool of communication and entertainment can cause various negative effects on a person's social life .
For instance
, a common issue of social
media
is addiction which can impact a person's health and well-being by spending many hours scrolling through their feeds which can provoke insomnia , anxiety and even depression.
Whereas
Correct word choice
apply
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,cyberbullying can
also
cause harm to the victim user and without a doubt in a sense the loss of privacy by adding personal information which can lead
also
in some cases dangerous online risks . In conclusion, as far as I am concerned
it is clear that
social
media
is a valuable tool that facilitates our life and helps in business growth .
Otherwise
, authorities should necessarily implement some policies to ensure the protection of users within social networks.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more specific and concise introduction that clearly outlines the stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion needs to summarize the main points and clearly state the writer's opinion on whether the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with relevant examples. However, the examples could be more detailed and specific to further support the points.
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