IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say that, the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particuar species of plants and animals, others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #particuar #species #plants #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years human has faced with
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of environmental issues. Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about
shortage
Add an article
the shortage
a shortage
show examples
 of specific
fauana
Correct your spelling
fauna
 and flora as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main reason
while
Linking Words
 others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that environmental problems are more important. in
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
 would
discussboth
Correct your spelling
discuss both
 views and argue the
favour
Change the verb form
favoured
show examples
 side.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as
perspective
Add an article
the perspective
a perspective
show examples
 of people, who claim that the fewer plants and animals, the more environmental problems.
it is clear that
Linking Words
 as certain species decline in numbers, the ecosystem is thrown out of balance and actually maintaining the balance of
Correct article usage
the ecosysytem
show examples
ecosysytem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
ecosystems
 is
essentila
Correct your spelling
essential
 for the earth and human. in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 loss of
fuana
Correct your spelling
fauna
 and flora can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medical research and
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of treatment, and in terms of essential
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, we should protect fauna and flora to prevent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
soil
erossion
Correct your spelling
erosion
 or flood.
as
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 of
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
the shortage
show examples
 of species and animals we can say
over fishing
Correct your spelling
overfishing
show examples
 cause a lack of biodiversity in the
ocans
Correct your spelling
oceans
ocean
, or
due to
Linking Words
 industry, growing human
popullaion
Correct your spelling
population
populations
 and
agrixalture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
, more land needed.
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are more considerable issues we have to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Dangers
Correct article usage
The dangers
show examples
 of global warming and climate change threaten the earth very
serious
Change the adjective
seriously
show examples
. in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, heavy air polluted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 greenhouse gases
contributs
Correct your spelling
contributes
contribute
 to Earth's temperature rise and sea levels rise as well.
in
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 fact those consequences exist from some humans or individuals activities
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation or excessive consumption of fuel. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people put
Correct article usage
a llack
show examples
llack
Correct your spelling
lack
black
 of biodiversity
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 or as a main reason , some environmental issues like global warming and climate change have more priority and we should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems and do something effective.
Submitted by zamrymre on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: