In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.

Nowadays people live in
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
competitive world and the rhythms of modern
life
dictate their own rules. As can be
seen
Add a comma
,seen
show examples
work
-
life
boundaries are blurred which can impact negative changes not only on lifestyle as a whole, but
in particular
on parent-child relationships.
However
, the global financial crisis pushes people to look for extra
work
to maintain
family’s
Correct pronoun usage
their family’s
show examples
financial stability. It’s not a secret, that structure of a modern family is not the same as it was a century ago. The position of
women
has been changed. In the past
women
occupied a very low position in
family
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a family
the family
show examples
with no rights and freedom. For centuries raising
children
has been thought
as
Change preposition
of as
show examples
women
’s
work
”,
women
took full responsibility for childbirth, childcare and domestic
work
. The situation has changed after
women
’s empowerment. The main feature of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
family is the economic independence of
women
, nowadays both
parents
leaves the home for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work
and
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
show examples
their career. But it doesn’t change the fact that
children
need
parents
to be involved in their
life
, they need care and love. Parent’s employment,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
communication
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of communication
show examples
with
the
Change the word
their
show examples
child has a bad impact on
children
’s
life
. Self-discipline,
emotional
Correct word choice
and emotional
show examples
development
are
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is
show examples
stunned without parental guidance and involvement, because
parents
are the model for their
children
. Without parental
control
Add a comma
,control
show examples
their child can even join peer groups with low moral and social standards.
However
,
parents
are driven not only by careerism or personal ambition. Desire to earn more money to make their child’s
life
less challenging makes
parents
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
work
more and harder.
This
would enable
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
provide better education,
better
Correct word choice
and better
show examples
health care
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
to their child. Modern
children
have all they want,
such
as different circles and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
sections. Job
parents
could provide
children
with expensive toys, clothes, trips,
camping
Correct word choice
and camping
show examples
.
Moreover
, when both
parents
are busy at
work
enough, the risk of development of overprotection syndrome is much lower and
kid
Correct article usage
the kid
show examples
rises as a very independent person. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is hard to keep a traditional family structure nowadays.
Life
is changing and it’s very important to improve a
life
-
work
balance. Job
parents
have
less
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fewer
show examples
opportunities to look after their
children
but they need to realize their
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
mental and emotional needs. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
it’s essential to earn enough money to provide a resource
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
kids’ future.
Submitted by nikolettliny on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income household
  • financial stability
  • extracurricular activities
  • role models
  • self-reliance
  • independent
  • emotional well-being
  • work-life balance
  • neglected
  • quality time
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