IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ome people with a good education and experience in their field decide to move abroad to work. Why do you think that is? What are the problems caused by this?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, youngsters move aboard after pursuing their degree
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 stream or after getting enough experience to
work
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
an interested
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interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 area because they think that doing
work
Use synonyms
 in foreign countries will value their
work
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
a more
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more
Change the word
apply
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better way than it is done in
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
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country
Use synonyms
. There are chances of raising problems in future and
reason
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the reason
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 behind it will be discussed
further
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. Employees with highly accomplished experience in
work
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 with academic
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 and practical skills migrate to other nations for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future as they can get satisfactory
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and social security after retirement by
Use synonyms
government
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the government
a government
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 which can be provided to them in their
country
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.
Furthermore
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 are there with more creative and productive ideas but they are not properly recognised by the
government
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 so they are not able to get
benefitted
Replace the word
beneficial
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 job opportunities with promotion.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are overseas
government
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 provides pension after retirement even if that person is not having
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government
Add an article
a government
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 job.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, problems can be raised by the migration of skilled and experienced
people
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in
Change preposition
to
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 foreign countries. There can be
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
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 of proficient workers in their
country
Use synonyms
 for growth and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
 because experts are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who can pass on their knowledge to their colleagues for brain development.
Besides
Linking Words
, future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 can be in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 hands if
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of educated
people
Use synonyms
 will go abroad to settle over there.
For example
Linking Words
, if most of the jobholders of
top
Add an article
the top
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 position will go out of their
country
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 there will minimum number of tutors with
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 number of learners in society.
To conclude
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, specialized persons are altering to different parts of the world for quality of life and better
work
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 leaving their host
country
Use synonyms
 is not a good sign in any way.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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