IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs below show the Expenditure on Health & Education, UAE as percentages of GDP and Infant mortality and life expectancy.

The graphs below show the Expenditure on Health & Education, UAE as percentages of GDP and Infant mortality and life expectancy.
The given bar chart compares the budget for
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
, in
UAE
Use synonyms
 as the proportion of
GDP
Use synonyms
 and children's death and life expectancy from 1985 to1993.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
while
Linking Words
 the expenditure on
education
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the period the amount spent on
health
Use synonyms
 in
UAE
Use synonyms
 as a percentage of
GDP
Use synonyms
 and infant mortality and life span fluctuates.
To begin
Linking Words
,
UAE
Use synonyms
 as a rate of
GDP
Use synonyms
 spent approximately 8.00% on
health
Use synonyms
 in 1985 as compared to the 10.00% of the budget used on
education
Use synonyms
 in that year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the next five years witnessed a significant growth of 400% in educational expenditure which was more than double the amount spent on
health
Use synonyms
,
UAE
Use synonyms
 as the proportion of
GDP
Use synonyms
 and children's death and life expectancy that same year.
In addition
Linking Words
, the sum of money spent on
education
Use synonyms
 grew to around 14.300% in 1993 which was the perk of the graph. The expenses on
health
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased to exactly 10.00% in that year which was relatively similar to the expenses made on
education
Use synonyms
 at the beginning

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words health, education, uae, gdp with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: