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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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There has been a controversy regarding, whether doing free community
services
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 (
such
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 as involving in charities) has to be a mandatory part of the high school education. I strongly confide with the whole idea as it will improve the student's sense of responsibility
as well as
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allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
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 them to benefit from significant, yet free
lessons
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. the reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, one of the most vital
lessons
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 which an adolescent should learn during high school is definitely taking care of other
people
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. since
,
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apply
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 it can improve society in a proper way.
Therefore
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, taking part in
such
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 community
services
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 helps youngsters to learn aiding to other
people
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 without having financial expectations. an example
to
Change preposition
of
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 it is charity
services
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 which teach the pupils to help those
people
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 in need.
Furthermore
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, these kinds of mandatory activities help the students who cannot afford the high cost of learning,
such
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lessons
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 get the opportunity to benefit from unpaid learning.
Moreover
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, it can grow the sense of cooperation in youngsters. To exemplify,
according to
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 a survey conducted in one of the high schools in London, the number of students who participated in those free
lessons
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 with improved characters
as well as
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Add an article
a
the
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sense of humanity was remarkably higher than those who didn’t attend
such
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lessons
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. In conclusion, I stand for the idea of making community
services
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compulsory
Correct article usage
a compulsory
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 part of high school education. Since it will improve
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in their character
in addition
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 to,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social growth.
Such
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society
Correct article usage
a society
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 will benefit from more responsible and caring
people
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.
Thus
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, those who are in charge of education should think of appropriate methods to add
such
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 unpaid
lessons
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 to the curriculum.
Submitted by asmadehbozorgi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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