Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behavior). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #schools #rewards #students #results #it’s #reward #success #sports #music #behavior

Nowadays, the education system is giving awards to successful

students

in order to motivate them.

This

has led to an argument about which

students

should be awarded.

While

some think that schools should focus on academic achievements, others think that

success

in other fields should be awarded. In my opinion, all types of

success

should be honoured. On one side, there are several benefits gained by awarding pupils with high scores.

Firstly

, schools are the place where smart kids feel special as they show their talents in difficult subjects

such

as math and physics. These talented

students

are the future of our world.

This

is why we need to motivate them so as to keep improving and the best way to do

that is

by honouring them every time they made an achievement.

Secondly

, many children have good qualities but they need a reason to make an effort. To illustrate

this

, some parents use a carrot-and-stick approach to obtain good results. In

this

way, youngsters have the needed motivation to work harder and get better scores. On the other side, our world needs more than just academic

success

. The world we live in requires us to improve in all aspects. Sports,

for example

, are a vital part of our modern life. It is the best way to keep good health and fit.

This

is why, we have to award-successful athletes in school because they can set a good role model for all of us.

Moreover

, good behaviour is another reason to honour

students

who behave well in a class. Awarding

students

who respect their teachers and other

students

might set an example for all

students

to follow. These are good ways to improve our lives. The education system awards successful

students

However

, there is an argument about which kind of

successment

Correct your spelling

succession

should be awarded. Some argue that academic

success

must be awarded, others believe that other forms of

success

must have

this

honour. I believe that schools should award all kinds of

success

as it improves our lives.

Submitted by ahmedelhanshiry on Fri Apr 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Scholastic achievement
Intellectual effort
Merit-based
Academic excellence
Educational outcomes
Well-rounded development
Multiple intelligences
Fosters self-esteem
Extracurricular involvement
Personal growth
Holistic approach
Diverse talents
Societal implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society.
In this day and age, it is widely found that the family relationship plays a less important in human growth. This situation is caused by several reasons. Personally, it has more demerits than merits.
4
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems, sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Many local and International consumer goods companies use sugar to flavor their food and drinks, which arises many health issues, sugar included consumer goods should be made at high prices to motivate consumers to consume less sugar. I totally agree with this statement because I believe that people who are addicted to sugar cannot be discouraged due to sugar containing products are more expensive. They will buy it whatever the price mark in the product. and marketing campaigns run by consumer goods companies attract customers while their products are expensive.
5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, people have a longer life span compared to the past. Some people say that turning to an ageing society causes some issues for governments, while some people believe that more ageing population can benefit their countries. I tend to think that the disadvantages have more impact than the advantages.
4.5
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, face-to-face communication is replaced by online communication with using social media such as Facebook and Twitter. In my opinion, the prevalence of it in communication has many significant benefits.
6.5
band
Some people think that it is a waste of time for an individual to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, there is an ongoing debate about whether individuals should prioritize planning for the future or focus only on the present. While I admit that focusing on the present brings more immediate benefits, but I firmly believe that strategic vision is essential for personal development and long-term success.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behavior). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems, sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it is a waste of time for an individual to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+