IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that children should be allowed to choose what subjects they study at school. Others argue that everyone should study the same subjects. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #subjects #study #school
In today’s world, individuals are encouraged to pursue their passion. Many people argue that pupils should be allowed to choose their
subjects
 based on their interests
while
 few think that all the
students
 should
study
 the same courses. Should they be allowed to choose their own courses or should the schools consider making them read the same
subjects
? I believe that
tutee’s
Change noun form
tutors
show examples
 should have the liberty to choose their
subjects
 based on their passion.
Firstly
, there are educational institutions which
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
 and
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
show examples
 their
students
 to select their electives.All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals have different talents and not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 talented in one
field
 of
study
.
For example
, few pupils are immensely talented in
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
 and computers
while
 others are talented in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field
.
This
 allows the
students
 to explore different fields
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age and gives them an opportunity to decide their future during their school days.
On the other hand
, few teachers and parents think that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
 should have the same courses so that they can have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 foundation and basics
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 required to excel in the outside world.
This
 helps the individuals to have basic knowledge about all fields of
study
.
For instance
, there are several people who explore their
interested
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
field
 of
study
 and do not succeed in that
field
. In
this
 case, the foundation and basic knowledge of all the
subjects
 will give them an advantage to quickly jump to a different industry to survive and earn money.
Thus
, some schools make their
students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
subjects
 during their teenage years.
To sum up
,
although
 some people are of the opinion that
students
 should have the same
subjects
, I believe that allowing
students
 to choose their own
subjects
 will make them grow in their career and learn to make decisions in life.
Submitted by raghavender1197 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that are easily identifiable. Make sure that the transition between paragraphs and ideas is smooth, using linking words and phrases effectively.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout, not just in the conclusion. Provide specific examples to support your points and expand on these examples to demonstrate how they support your argument.
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