The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. discuss some possible reasons for this problem and suggest solutions.
First of all, I would like to tell you about something which is the most important thing in our life. junk food, and
Health
issues have increased parallel in developed countries
, what I mean is that developed countries
have a number of health
problems compared to undeveloped countries
. According to
investigators, Countries
with advanced technology tend to cause more heart, obesity, and physical problems. In this
essay, I will discuss some possible reasons and suggestions.
As we all know, teenagers who have a lot of opportunities such
as technology, transportation, and also
money usually do not consider their nutrition
. They can order meals, and junk food without any hardness. We can say that they usually spent their time in school, education, and also
on the computers. In addition
, we should not judge them because time is changed. If we think about undeveloped countries
such
as Africa, we can see their obesity rates are incredibly low. Because they cannot even have enough nutrition
, they are usually thin but still have other health
problems. At this
point, we have to consider how can we fix our nutrition
. Government should share a lot of advertisements about obesity on TV and social platform, and human health
issues should be checked frequently. Some people should be bannedChange preposition
from
also
the importance of nutrition
should be explained to them.
To sum up
, our health
is so vital to us, we have to protect it. Every folk wants to eat some junk food, delicious meal, but one thing we have to consider, sometimes it's might too late for everything. I firmly believe that one day every individual will understand the importance of health
.Submitted by celil--1907 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite