IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The given bar charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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data about four types of occupation of
graduate
 or postgraduate
students
 that did not have a qualified
work
 by finishing college in 2008. It’s notable
from
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance that
both
students
 preferred mostly
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 study, and
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 figure of
graduate
Add an article
a graduate
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 is much more than postgraduate
students
. The most unpopular option among
both
students
 was voluntary
work
, making up 3500
graduate
students
 and only 345 postgraduate
students
.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
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 two destinations (
further
work
, unemployment) are the same
by
Change preposition
in
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both
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 choices,
however
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
post graduated
students
 most likely select part-time
work
,
while
graduate
students
 are not keen on
this
 occupation.
Part time
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
work
 among postgraduate people was almost as popular as
further
 study, having about 200
students
 difference.
Further
 study and unemployment were samely popular for
both
students
 by proportion , just as voluntary
work
, figures of these 3 destinations among
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
postgraduates
post graduated
 are 10 timed less between
graduate
students
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, work, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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