IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The given bar charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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data about four types of occupation of
graduate
Use synonyms
 or postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 that did not have a qualified
work
Use synonyms
 by finishing college in 2008. It’s notable
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance that
both
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 preferred mostly
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 study, and
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 figure of
Use synonyms
graduate
Add an article
a graduate
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 is much more than postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
. The most unpopular option among
both
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 was voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, making up 3500
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 and only 345 postgraduate
students
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.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
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 two destinations (
further
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
, unemployment) are the same
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 choices,
however
Linking Words
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
post graduated
students
Use synonyms
 most likely select part-time
work
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 are not keen on
this
Linking Words
 occupation.
Part time
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 among postgraduate people was almost as popular as
further
Linking Words
 study, having about 200
students
Use synonyms
 difference.
Further
Linking Words
 study and unemployment were samely popular for
both
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 by proportion , just as voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, figures of these 3 destinations among
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
postgraduates
post graduated
 are 10 timed less between
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, students, work, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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