IELTS Writing Correction Service /
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Band 6

Sending criminals to prison is not the most effective method to deal with crime. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#criminals #prison #method #crime #education #job
Society
 has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 rules and those who break
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 are punished.
However
, some believe that
prison
sentences
 are not at all effective and
instead
, criminals should be educated and trained to reform them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why
this
 point holds true in some cases and why it doesn't in others.
Due to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 impartiality, condemning criminals to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a prison sentence
prison sentences
show examples
prison
sentences
 is not ideal. Prisons
are be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very harsh and unforgiving. Those who go there might not learn how
adhere
Add the particle
to adhere
show examples
 to rules and
Instead
, learn to fear them. A person sent to
prison
 for a trivial crime, stealing a loaf of bread
for instance
, might be committed to a life of imprisonment when the action might not be so severe.
Furthermore
, once released, the same person would not be able to
aclimate
Correct your spelling
acclimate
 to modern
society
 when they have been behind bars for a long time. Not only that,
prison
 cells can be a large money sink. Governments have to invest large funds towards
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 when it could be used for better infrastructure
instead
. Educating and training culprits is far more useful in reforming them and making them useful members of
society
.
On the other hand
,
prison
sentences
 are a useful tool in
mainting
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 order. Few actions are so heinous that there is no other alternative. Some criminals are so far gone that they would be a danger to
society
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 a serial killer, and long
punishement
Correct your spelling
punishment
 is the only way to keep others safe.
Prison
Add an article
The prison
show examples
also
remind
Correct subject-verb agreement
reminds
show examples
 others that actions have consequences and deter those who think of
comitting
Correct your spelling
committing
 a crime. In conclusion,
prison
sentences
 are not always pretty but are needed in cases where there are no options.
However
, these punishments should not be used as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 way out and
instead
 of banishing
covnicts
Correct your spelling
convicts
, we should try to rehabilitate them.
Submitted by imadniz96 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • criminal behavior
  • reintegration into society
  • recidivism rates
  • breeding ground
  • cost-effective
  • cycle of poverty and crime
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